13 Reasons Why
by Shitsuren69
Summary: Gatlex. Rex comes up with 13 reasons why they shouldn't be together. And thus begins the most amusing ten minutes of Gatlocke's life. Oneshot.


Posted here for a friend.

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"We can't," Rex says, holding up a hand and effectively stopping Gatlex in his tracks.

Gatlocke gives him an annoyed look before pushing forward, trying to steal another kiss before Rex catches on. Unfortunately, the teen's adamant about it this time. So Gatlocke sighs, frustrated, and throws his hands up in the air. "Okay, what now? What's your problem?"

"I have thirteen reasons."

And thus begins the most amusing ten minutes of Gatlocke's life.

1

"You're a con."

"I ain't changing my strips for you, Rexy-boy. Although, if you wanted to join me…"

"And I'm not going to stop being a hero for you either."

"Okay, so we both agree to disagree. Now can we get on with you on your knees?"

"No, no. This is just reason 1. I have 12 others."

2

"Our age difference."

Gatlocke shrugs. "So?"

"It's pretty big."

"You don't even know your own age."

"Well according to César-"

"No one cares what that guy says. He's crazy, remember?"

"… I somehow don't think you have any right to judge…"

3

"You tried to kill me when we first met."

"No, you tried to kill me. I hugged you. Twice. And asked you to join me. Multiple times. If anything, I'm the victim in this abusive relationship."

Rex opened his mouth and then closed it. "Damn."

4

"You snore."

"You snore worse."

"I do not!"

"How would you know? You're asleep."

Rex groans and throws his hands up in the air.

5

"That's just it. You drive me bonkers!"

"It makes for better sex!"

6

"You always have to win. Every. Single. Time. You can never just admit that sometimes, I'm just that much better than you!"

"That's because you're not."

"Not what you said last night."

"I said that you're getting better. That doesn't mean better than me."

"You're doing it again!"

7

"Sometimes, I just want to rip off that stupid look on your face and-"

"Help! Help! My boyfriend's abusive!"

8

"I feel so damned tired whenever I talk to you."

Gatlocke raises a brow but the grin on his face doesn't disappear. "Oh really? Well, if that's the case… how do you feel about somnophilia?"

9

"Do you ever think about anything other than sex? That's all I feel like I am to you. A giant sex toy."

"Sex toys aren't as satisfying as you. I would know."

10

"TMI. It means 'too much information.' You sprout a lot of things that normal people shy away from."

"But that's why you love me."

"No. Yes. Sometimes. I don't know. It's confusing."

"But you do love me, right?"

The sudden seriousness in that voice catches Rex off-guard. He blinks, but before he can answer, Gatlocke's pouting and acting like a child he really is, and Rex thinks that he imagined the seriousness.

11

"Your choice of friends."

"What? I would never have thought that you would be the shallow girlfriend type. What's wrong with my friends? They're funny."

"They all want to kill me."

"Well, you have to admit that you sort of screwed them over. Well, me too, actually… Hey, you're not allowed to start dating _any_ of them, got it? You're mine."

12

"You're strangely possessive about all the weirdest of things."

"I'm possessive about you. Is that weird?"

"Very."

13

"You're insane."

"Never bothered you before."

"But it does. It always does. Why me? It makes no sense. What would convince you to like someone like me?"

Gatlocke's staring at him and Rex feels his cheeks flush. "I'm not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I'm just saying. You can do better. You don't have to settle for someone like me."

"Someone like you?"

"You know… Not exactly right. Like a broken glass someone tried to tape together. It can't be put together right."

"Why do you think I like you?"

"Because you're insane."

"I like you because you're as messed up as me." Gatlocke reaches forward and places a hand on Rex's cheek. "I like you because you stand up to me." He pinches Rex's cheek hard, making the younger cry out in shock. "I like you because you found 13 reasons why we shouldn't be together, but you still chose to stay."

"I haven't-"

"You haven't left me yet. And that's what matters for now."


End file.
